i keep asking myself over and over, why am i here? what the fuck am i doing here?

i wandered in and out of people tonight. people with things worth feeling about. things worth thinking about. things worth living for. i wandered in and out of people who had things.

i took what was left of the vicodin. i know it isnt enough. but im hoping. the drinks slowed things down. the drinks should help. my heart feels so tired, it shouldnt take that much to slow it down. slow slow slow it down. slow it til it stops. i just want everything to stop. i want my eyes to stop. i need to go to sleep. please just let it all stop tonight. please? im so sick of pretending. i cant do another day. i swear i cant.

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