things have been bad.

i hate being away from my family. i hate being unemployed. i hate where i am in life right now. i hate how ive been acting. i hate how afraid i always am. i hate how lonely i am. i hate looking in the mirror. i hate waking up. i hate not being able to fall asleep. i hate who i am.

i just want to melt into the ground and grow into something better.

this is what i deserve.

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